There’s this hot topic going around at the moment about self care and self love. Putting on a face mask, getting your hair done or #treatyoself to a dinner out.
The thing is that, yes they are ways to show yourself some love but it’s all surface level ‘stuff’ and it only lasts for a day where your skin feels nice or your re-growth comes through and then it becomes a revolving door because it wears off and then you feel crappy about yourself and then you have to go and do it all again just to show yourself that you ‘love yourself’.
Where as if we worked a little deeper than surface level ‘stuff’ you wouldn’t have these moments when you feel crappy about yourself just because your nails don’t shine anymore.
Self Love Massage
After the shower, get your favourite moisturiser, cream, oil or serum ( I love coconut oil or a vitamin e oil) and start from your toes and work your way up, massaging each body part while in your mind you’re appreciating that body part. For example, while massaging your thighs you can say “I am so grateful for my strong legs, they allow me to walk all day, they hold me up all day, I can run after my kids, I can swim in the ocean, I love my legs”. What this does is it re-wires your brain to actually love every single body part. Do this to that body part that you just have never loved and over time watch how much easier it gets. This can be very hard, very daunting and confronting. Take your time with it, speak to yourself with words of love. No body is going to love your body for you, you have to do it for yourself. If you really want to up the brain re-wiring, do this in front of the mirror. It is uncomfortable at first, but I promise you will, over time and practice you’ll love and accept your body for everything that he/she is. (Yes this is for the guys too).
Say no to unhealthy food. Say no to toxic people. Say no to the things you don’t want to do. Say no to anything that depletes your energy. Don’t say yes to beers at the bar if you want to lose 8kg. Don’t say yes to hanging out with those people that just drain your energy. I’ve had this saying for a while and I am not sure where I got it from but when in doubt I always say “if it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a fuck no”. Sorry about the swearing, but I think it makes a very good point. Don’t you? When we say no, we subconsciously say yes to our goals. When we don’t allow these things in to our life – we attract what we do what. Get really good as saying no unapologetic. Don’t say ‘no sorry, I don’t want to go to the bar’ – say ‘no, thank you’. You don’t have to apologies for saying no to something you don’t want. Say yes to the things that match your goals and values – and nothing else.
Remember, You’re Number One
Sometimes people want me to train them during my ‘day break’ which in normal terms this is your ‘after work beer time’. Now we know how much I love personal training a client who wants to reach their goals. But the thing is this is the time that I go to the gym and do all those other things to recharge myself. At the moment I start work at 4:30am and finish at 7:00pm – with a break in the middle. So if you do quick realistic math, I don’t have time in the morning to do my work out or what not because that would mean I am not getting enough sleep (we know how important sleep is). So I prioritise this time to recharging myself and doing the things I need to. So now you can see why I will not train someone during my lunch time. If you want the best training session of your life, you want a well slept, fit, healthy, clear minded PT. I could easily say yes and train them but I’d not get my training session in. As much as I care for other peoples training goals – mine come first. Because in my world, I am number one. You have to remember this too. Put yourself before anyone else. Before your wife or husband, before your children, before anyone. If you aren’t 100%, you aren’t going to be the best wife or husband or the best parent. With all of your decisions, consider yourself before anyone else.
Be Kind To Yourself
It is so often I hear people say ‘I’m fat’, ‘I’m a dickhead’, ‘I’m behind’, I’m this, I’m that and the next thing. The truth is that you aren’t any of those insults, you’re human. When we say these horrible things to ourselves, think, would I say that to my best friend or someone I loved? The answer is no. So why do we speak to ourselves like this? Next time you do something to make yourself feel like ‘a dickhead’ tell yourself 3 loving things to re-wire your brain.
We all make mistakes, we all slip up sometimes – but it is all a part of life. Usually they are lessons that we had to learn.
Be kind to yourself, because if you can’t be nice to yourself, how do you expect others to be nice to you too?
We have to stop worrying about where we are in life and stressing about it all. Be gentle with yourself, you’re exactly where you need to be.
You are a success,
You are able to achieve anything you want at any age,
You are a beautiful soul,
You are smart enough,
You are worthy of anything you desire from a place of love.
Be kind to yourself.
I hope that one of these resonates with you and encourages you to be a little more kind to yourself. I know that I haven’t always been loving toward myself, but when I realised how good it feels – I had to share this with others. It has been a journey to re-wire my brain over the years, but it is all possible with consistent effort. Now don’t get me wrong, there are still times where I slip up – but I’m not harsh on myself, I accept it for what it is and move on. I decide to be gentle with myself and kind to myself.
Let me know what one you’re going to work on, or what other self love practices you have.
Love & Peace
Teags Lee x